Brendan hates clowns

Brendan is known to hate clowns of all varieties. While distinguishing the difference between jesters, mimes, & clowns. A Jester is considered an occupation, a terrible one at that, but it is not the same as a clown. Jesters want to kill you because they are sad and angry people. While clowns want to kill you, they also want to steal your soul and posses your body. Mimes are poor & sad people with no other options than to be a mime. Mimes have no real skills thus taking on an oath of silence. For it is better for one to assume you a fool, than speak and remove all doubt.

Now many may ask why does Brendan hate clowns, well this actually goes into a heart breaking tragedy. A young upstart into a large oil rig company Sir Brendan of Zapopan, Mexico had just immigrated into the United States. Finding himself in the world of Texas, Sir Brendan found himself at a local festival. While taking part in the consumption of a Brendan favorite, the snow cone.

He wandered off toward a large crowd of fair goers who were all laughing. Intrigued by the sounds of joy and happiness Sir Brendan found himself beholding what he thought of was a beautiful creature. A female clown, her face-paint running down her face as she tried her best to escape the wrath of a vicious bull. Sir Brendan, twirled his glorious 1850s mustache and jumped into heroics. Jumping over the barricade he rushed in and did a kick straight to the bulls nose. The bull was not phased by the attack, then turned its attention to sir Brendan starting to charge at him. Brendan then shot the bull with his oversized wacky 1800s gun.

The woman then couldn't help but thank the mustached hero for saving her, however this was the clowns job she tried to explain. Sir Brendan couldn't understand what she said because he didn't know any English. Despite the communication troubles the two began a wholesome romantic relationship. They even began to hold hands, which was difficult because of the electric buzzer that is implanted into all clown gloves. However Sir Brendan thought the electric shock was the "spark" one feels when they are in love and proposed on the spot.

The two married and has several half human, half clown children. These unholy abominations were frowned upon by the great sky wizard and the new family would be cursed. The oil tycoon's business would soon begin to fail as the oil he had dug up turned to be nothing more than human waste from the sewer systems. Once the clown learned that there was no more money in the relationship, she found a new lover and left Sir Brendan. Taking their horrifying half breed children and half of sir Brendan's earnings, which after the sky wizard curse was next to nothing.

Sir Brendan now left heart broken, vowed to never stop his hatred for clowns, passing this hatred down from generation to generation of Brendan. At this point many speculate this but folk lore. An old tale that was made up to explain the genetic revulsion all Brendan's have toward clowns. We are unsure at this present time but will continue to look into articles and ancient Brendan based texts that we are able to locate.